Coming out.

So I came out as pansexual on Saturday which is… exciting.

comingout

 

          And I got a lot of people supporting and telling me how proud of me they are. Also here’s the video if you want to watch it. But anyways, a lot of people were proud and happy that I could finally be me and some of them didn’t know it was a thing but happy that I could educate them. And it’s amazing that if I were pansexual in the 90s, SO MANY PEOPLE WOULDN’T GO NEAR ME! But now, now so many people love me no matter who I like and something like that makes me really happy.

         I mean, if someone didn’t accept me I really wouldn’t care because you know the times they are a changing, but really why should someone care about someone else’s sexually? Why is it so important to care. And I mean half a year ago if someone asked if I wasn’t straight I’d tell them what I am but Saturday was ‘national coming out day’ and I felt like I needed to do it then, I didn’t want to force myself to do it but it just felt right for some reason and I can’t explain how that felt right, it just did. Like it felt like this need to come out. It’s kind of weird, it’s a really weird feeling that I don’t know if I can ever explain to anyone who hasn’t come out but I just… I felt like I needed to or else I would be closeted forever.

          I was so nervous the night before and minutes before I made the video and even after. Even (for some stupid reason) I feel somewhat nervous to write this piece. But seriously, since coming out like two days ago I feel so much better, I feel happier, and I feel free. I think that’s the one thing I want to take away from this is the fact that I was so scared to be me, that once I finally come out and accept who I am that I feel this whole weight off of my shoulders/chest that I can finally breath you know? It’s weird, this whole thing is weird but I feel really happy and it’s great.

          Though it’s not like I’m saying I wasn’t happy before. I was somewhat happy before this whole me coming out. But when you’re different, when you’re not the norm (and the norm here being heterosexual/straight) you’re still not happy I mean I wasn’t very open about sexuality when I was little (well I was but not in the case that others are) and so I didn’t really have any negative influences in my life that got me killed, either by someone else or myself. But to finally be me, I can say I’m happy. I’m very happy. I love every bit of me and my friends and my family who have sent me kind messages and commented on the actual status. Things like this gives me hope and makes me want to cry as well as hug so many people I can find. Best decision in my life so far.

goodbye

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